Teacher World

A survey conducted in May and June of 2011 by the American Association of University Women (AAUW), released in early November, revealed that 48 percent of middle and high school students who were surveyed said that they were sexually harassed at least one time during the 2010-2011 school year.

The survey polled a nationally representative sample of 1,965 students from both private and public schools between the ages of 12 and 18. The results of this survey may be very surprising and troubling for parents and teachers alike.

The survey revealed that girls were more likely to experience harassment than boys. (For the benefit of this survey, harassment was defined rather broadly as “unwelcome behavior that takes place in person or electronically.”) While 40 percent of boys said they have experienced harassment, 56 percent of girls reported being sexually harassed at least one time in the past school year. Of these, 44 percent said that they were harassed in person, and 30 percent said they were harassed through Facebook, text messaging, or email.

Additionally, the survey was able to glean information, according to the students who responded, regarding which students were more commonly harassed. Girls whose “bodies are really developed, more than other girls” are most likely to be harassed, followed by girls who are either considered to be very pretty or “not pretty” by their peers. According to the report, boys who are “not very masculine” and overweight students in general are more commonly the targets of harassment.

A third of those who reported being harassed said that had been the target of unwelcome sexual comments or jokes. Eighteen percent said that they were called gay or lesbian in a derogatory manner. In fact, the most common form of harassment which boys reported experiencing was being called “gay.”

“I was told I was gay because of the way I had dressed for a school spirit week event,” one eighth grade boy said.

And a ninth grade boy wrote, “Everyone was saying I was gay, and I felt the need to have to run away and hide.”

Thirteen percent of girls reported being touched in an unwelcome way, and four percent admitted to being forced to do something sexual.

The survey supported the negative effect which harassment has on its victims, with 87 percent reporting detrimental effects from the harassment they faced. A third of those who were victims of harassment said they did not want to go to school. Others reported having a hard time sleeping or studying, feeling sick to their stomachs, or that they quit school activities due to harassment.

In the survey, an eighth-grade female said that she “thought of suicide” after a peer spread sexual rumors about her, and a ninth-grade boy wrote that being called gay by others made him feel “threatened for [his] personal safety.”

One of the report’s authors and director of research at AAUW, Catherine Hill, and coauthor Holly Kearl wrote that even though sexual harassment is considered to be a form of bullying, schools are often reticent to place emphasis on sexual harassment. The report said, “Schools are likely to promote bullying prevention while ignoring or downplaying sexual harassment.”

Hill said that bullying and harassment overlap, and that sexual harassment usually starts in adolescence with comments that are “focused on sex and gender.” She also stated that many administrators and teachers are “more comfortable talking about bullying. It’s hard to talk about sexual harassment.”

Another alarming tendency, according to the survey, is that most students are not fighting back. About half of those who said they have been harassed admit to just ignoring the harassment at the time, the same number who reported that they didn’t take any action after the harassment. About one-fourth of the students said that they told their harasser to stop, while a similar percentage of students reported confiding the incident to a parent, a family member, or a friend. Only 9 percent told their teacher or another adult at school about the harassment.

“There’s a fear of coming forward,” Hill says. “To school principals: If you don’t hear anything, that doesn’t mean you don’t have a problem. We need to do more than just respond; we need to prevent sexual harassment.”

Hill recommends that schools set up an anonymous system where students can at least talk about, if not report, sexual harassment, since there is embarrassment or fear related to these incidents. Additionally, she recommends that every school should delegate an adult who students can go talk to if they have been harassed.

Kearl has called for the need to establish programs that would include all school members, administrators, and parents to address the seriousness of sexual harassment saying, “When we talk about sexual harassment, many people want to think about it as an adult problem. But this is happening to 12-year-olds. It’s a vicious cycle. There needs to be a climate of prevention from all sides.”

Bullying, Teacher-World's Blog American Association of University Women, Bullying, sexual harassment

Yesterday, I told you about a teacher who apparently thought he had the right to bully a 15-year old special needs student. Well, as if that story wasn’t bad enough, get ready for the dastardly duo: Christie Wilt and Kelly Chaffins, a special education teacher and her aide.

This story is about Cheyanne, a 14-year old special needs girl who attends Miami Trace Middle School in Washington Courthouse, Ohio, who used to love school. Her father, Brian, told TODAY that up until fifth grade, they never had a problem getting their daughter to go to school. But in fifth grade, she was in a classroom with an aide named Kelly Chaffins. On one occasion, Brian said that Chaffins jerked Cheyanne up by her shirt and pulled her from the line. When they tried to talk to the school about what had happened, they were told that Ms Kelly would not do what their daughter claimed she had done, and the situation was dropped by the principal.

Brian told Ann Curry on TODAY that sixth grade was better, seventh grade was worse, but eighth grade was terrible. It was at this time that Cheyanne began to tell her parents that she was being bullied. She claimed that her teachers called her dumb, lazy, and a liar and they taunted her about her belly.

“She got to where she didn’t want to go to school, and Cheyanne’s always loved school. We’ve never had a problem with her. And…she was doing things that, starting to harm herself to keep from going to school. So we knew we had to do something at that point. We weren’t getting anywhere with the school. Every time we’d call, ‘We didn’t do that,’ ‘She’s making up stories’. It was always, ‘Cheyanne’s lying,’” Brian said.

Brian told Curry that when they went to the principal with their concerns, their complaints were always met with the same response; Cheyanne was lying. And when he went to Miami Trace Schools Superintendent Dan Roberts for the first time after getting nowhere with the school’s principal, Roberts told them that they were bordering on slander and harassment and to let it go. He guaranteed that he would provide the best education possible for Brian’s daughter.

Out of sheer frustration, Cheyanne’s parents wired her for sound and were able to tape four days of devastating proof of profound bullying and abuse. Here is a sample of the horrendous things being said to this poor girl.

At one point in the tape, Chaffins became annoyed with Cheyanne over how she had answered a question, saying, “Are you kidding me? Are you that damn dumb? You are that dumb? Oh my God. You are such a liar.”

Cheyanne responded, “I am not lying.”

“No wonder you don’t have friends,” Chaffins bullied her. ”No wonder nobody likes you.”

On another occasion, Chaffins asked Cheyanne, “Don’t you want to do something about that belly?” She and Wilt began to badger her about being lazy, accusing her of just sitting around watching TV. They even called Cheyanne’s parents lazy for not going for a walk with her for exercise.

And there was another time caught on the tape when Wilt refused to even look at a test that Cheyanne had just finished, saying, “…you know what? Just keep it. You failed it. I know it. I don’t need your test to grade. You failed it.”

As if all of this were not enough, at one point on the tape, Cheyanne’s parents heard Chaffins call them “liars raising a liar” after they had called to complain about Wilt and Chaffins forcing their daughter to run on the treadmill as punishment for getting an answer wrong, an episode which was also caught on tape. 

Imagine, as a parent, having to listen to this tape; horrific proof of what Cheyanne had claimed all along. Two adults who were supposed to be teaching your child, protecting your child, and encouraging your child, bullying, humiliating, and destroying your child!

Cheyanne’s tearful father said, “We’re listening to seven hours worth of stuff on this tape, so we were up all night crying, upset, cause we didn’t understand why. We didn’t understand why. Why would they do this?”

Finally, when Cheyanne’s parents provided Roberts with the irrefutable proof of what their daughter had been trying to get someone to believe all along, Roberts finally acted. “There was distressing, disturbing things on that tape that caused us to act immediately.” Dan Roberts said. Chaffins was asked to resign.

As far as Wilt was concerned, Roberts said, “We felt the level of her involvement there did not meet with the level that educational aide had done.” Therefore, Wilt was only required to take eight hours of anti-bullying and child abuse training, in compliance with the Ohio Department of Education’s decision.

However, this Monday, the district placed Wilt on an unpaid leave of absence for the remainder of the school year (I’m guessing because the publicity got a little too hot).

But Cheyanne’s family does not feel this is enough, and I must agree. Christie Wilt was the teacher in charge of that classroom. An aide is exactly that; they are there to do what the teacher asks them to do. It is the teacher who sets the tone for their classroom. Wilt allowed this atrocious behavior to continue and participated in it as well. And Wilt is the trained and educated professional who should recognize inappropriate behavior when she sees it or engages in it. To treat her less severely than the aide is a travesty!

The school district settled a lawsuit with the family for $300,000, but the family isn’t done. They are working with their lawyers to see that Wilt is not only fired from the district, but that she lose her teaching license, too.

Brian told Curry, “I just hope they do something with this teacher. She doesn’t need to be around kids at all. She participated in it, she was right there. I’m looking out for (Cheyanne), but also I’m worried about the other children in that class and what they went through. She’s (Wilt) just as much to blame, if not more, because she’s the one who takes that oath to protect our children. She has more education than the teacher’s aide.’’

Brian is right. At the very least, Wilt should be fired. As far as losing her license, would any of you want her teaching your child in the future? I sure wouldn’t!

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CNN recently did an article on when parents should get involved in their children’s problems. This is what their expert advice is on some common situations children, and their parents face. I found the ones that deal with school issues to be very well-stated and would love to pass this advice along to all of your parents out there who wonder, “Should I intervene, or not?”

The first topic they wrote about is should you get involved if your child has an unreasonable amount of homework to do. Jan Busey, an elementary teacher from Asheville, North Carolina advised that parents first make sure that their child is actually working when they are supposed to rather than playing with a pet or daydreaming.

She said that if they find that they are honestly doing their job but are still overwhelmed, they should make an appointment with their child’s teacher, but to come prepared. “Set goals for your child to complete an assignment, then assess at the end of that time,” says Busey. “And write down specific challenges. The more you can show that you’ve tried to deal with the issue at home, the more receptive a teacher will be to your concerns.”

She also suggests that if the child is improving with the structure you have created, you probably don’t need to meet with the teacher; just continue doing what you’re doing.

Next, should you get involved when another child is bullying your child on the playground? Stacy DeBroff, author of The Mom Book, recommends that you don’t get involved right away, unless you are afraid that your child is not safe. Instead, DeBroff says, “If you’re there, watch closely and give your child a chance to solve the problem on her own.”

But, what about bullying that occurs on the school playground? She recommends the same approach, saying that it’s better to equip your child with the skills he needs to stay safe, empowering him with the determination to handle the situation on his own.

DeBroff suggests that parents rehearse appropriate responses to the bullying with their child. So, if your child has a sense of humor, responding in humor might be her best option, or, if a more assertive response is appropriate, have her practice a strong “Cut it out” then have her walk away.

Michele Borba, an educational psychologist from Palm Springs, California, and author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions, said, “Have her practice standing up straight, chest out, like she’s wearing a bulletproof vest that taunts bounce right off of.”

Reconsider your approach if the bullying continues and your child is feeling threatened. That is when you get involved by calmly removing your child from the playground with a viable excuse, like snack time, rather than trying to talk to her in front of the bully, which will only embarrass her further.

If the bullying is happening at school, contact the teacher and let them know what is happening. From a teacher’s perspective, I will tell you that many times bullying incidents occur when the teacher is not around, and is therefore oblivious to the bullying. So, inform the teacher, and ask them to keep an eye out for further episodes. The article states that most schools take bullying seriously, which is true. Most states, 39 to be exact, have adopted laws addressing bullying, so teachers should know what to do to handle incidents at school.

What do you do when your child’s teacher gave your child a lower grade than he thinks he deserves? Jan Busey recommends that parents should only get involved if their child is willing to take part in the conversation with the teacher. “If you believe your child’s points are valid, say you’ll make an appointment with the teacher but that he’ll have to make the case.”

Now, I love this part; Busey says to leave it up to your child to ask the teacher why she gave him the grade she did. “Hearing the feedback from the teacher will help him fine-tune future assignments,” says Busey. And helping your child to list his reasons for disagreeing with the grade ahead of time teaches him how to approach future disagreements in a constructive manner.

But CNN says (and I strongly agree) to reconsider going in to talk to the teacher if your child commonly misreads or incorrectly copies down instructions, and make sure you have all of the details before jumping to possibly incorrect conclusions. As the article states, “A stellar report on blue whales is less so if the task was to write about smaller mammals of the sea.”

Finally, what do you do when your child learned a not-so-nice word from a classmate? Don’t try to contact the classmate’s mother; it takes more effort than it’s worth. Busey says, “I was actually glad when my children used those words — at home, anyway. It gave me the chance to explain what they mean and how they make other people feel.”

The article recommends that you reconsider if it becomes a regular problem when your child plays with this particular classmate, and he is breaking rules with this classmate regularly. Now it’s time to talk to the parents, but do so with the understanding that they may not even be aware of what is happening themselves. Ask them to keep tabs on what the kids are doing, or have the classmate come to your house where you can see for yourself what is going on.

I concentrated my blog on the aspects of this article that pertained to school, but if you are interested in the rest of the advice that CNN had to offer parents, feel free to follow this link.

I would like to wrap this blog up however, by giving you some examples CNN gave of stories teachers told about just how far meddling parents may go:

–”I had one sixth-grade parent who would e-mail me the night before tests, asking for a copy of the test to ‘help’ her child.”
– “One mother brought her child to school late every Friday so she would conveniently miss the math flash-card tests, which made the girl nervous.”
– “A parent changed the relay order for a swim meet on my computer while I was out coaching. She wanted her kid to swim backstroke, not butterfly.”
– “One father called me after an uninvited child showed up at his daughter’s slumber party, asking me to penalize the student. I told him teachers don’t police slumber parties.”

You sure as heck don’t want to be one of these parents!

Bullying, Teacher-World's Blog Bullying, CNN, Jan Busey, Michele Borba, parent advice, Stacey DeBroff, teachers

Another devastating story of a young man, only 14-years old, who has taken his life in what looks to be another case of bullying, hit the news on September 18, and people across the United States are mourning along with the family in the wake of this recent tragedy.

Jamey Rodemeyer, from Williamsville, New York, was found dead outside his home, after taking his own life. His parents, Tracy and Tim, reported that Jamey has been bullied due to his sexuality for years, but things got worse for him when he was in middle school.

According to Jamey’s parents and friends, he was tormented relentlessly on social networking websites where people posted hateful comments because of his sexuality. One post said, “JAMIE IS STUPID, GAY, FAT ANND [sic] UGLY. HE MUST DIE!”

Another post read, “I wouldn’t care if you died. No one would. So just do it It would make everyone WAY more happier!”

Jamey blogged about being bullied and even wrote of his thoughts of committing suicide. He posted this comment on his Facebook page, “I always say how bullied I am, but no one listens. …What do I have to do so people will listen to me?” And he wrote, “No one in my school cares about preventing suicide, while you’re the ones calling me [gay slur] and tearing me down.”

Tracy and Tim had gone to the school to try to get some help for their son, and Jamey had also spent some time talking to the counselor. And when he came out, telling people he was bisexual, he received encouragement from his friends and family, which seemed to give him hope.

Jamey even posted a message in May to other kids like him on the YouTube website, It Gets Better project. In it, he talks about how difficult and relentless the bullying had been and that it felt at times that he couldn’t escape it. Yet, he encouraged those listening to fight off the bullies, and told them he was doing better.

He spoke about Lady Gaga who has staunchly supported gays and lesbians and has spoken out about bullying. He said she had given him hope, and made his life easier. He said, “She makes me so happy, and she lets me know that I was born this way.”

He ended his message saying, “So, just listen here. It gets better, and look at me. I’m doing fine…”

Jamey was a freshman this year at Williamsville North High School, and he seemed to be doing better. His parents said he seemed happy and stronger, and his friends described him as caring and friendly. Jamey had been getting help from a social worker and therapist to deal with his issues.

In spite of signs that seemed to indicate Jamey was doing better, he took his own life on September 18, leaving behind grieving parents and friends.

The Rodemeyers hope to use this tragedy to spread a message of acceptance and anti-bullying. Tim told reporters, “To the kids who are bullying they have to realize that words are very powerful and what you think is just fun and games isn’t to some people, and you are destroying a lot of lives.”

And Tracy hopes that the tragic loss of their son will help teach a message of tolerance. “It took him away from our family way too early and we’re just convinced that he had a purpose on this planet and it was to touch as many people as he could.”

Jamey’s hero, Lady Gaga was clearly saddened by Jamey’s unnecessary death. She paid tribute to Jamey at the iHeartRadio Festival in Las Vegas this past weekend, dedicating her song “Hair” to young Jamey.

With Jamey’s picture on the big screen, Lady Gaga made this emotional comment before she sang her song, “I wrote this record about how your identity is really all you’ve got when you’re in school … so tonight, Jamey, I know you’re up there looking at us, and you’re not a victim.”

Earlier, Lady Gaga had expressed her grief on twitter, writing: “The past days I’ve spent reflecting, crying, and yelling. I have so much anger. It is hard to feel love when cruelty takes someones life. Bullying must become illegal. It is a hate crime. I am meeting with our President. I will not stop fighting. This must end. Our generation has the power to end it. Trend it #MakeALawForJamey.”

Tracy Rodemeyer said that her son would be buried in the shirt that meant so much to him. It proudly proclaims: “Born This Way.”

I leave you with these sobering statistics, as reported on ABC World News: In the last year that statistics are available, it was reported that 39% of America’s sixth-graders reported being bullied. Those statistics shrunk in high school, where it was reported that about 20% of seniors reported being bullied.

But here is the tragedy: While the numbers shrunk for most high school students, they remained the same for gay and lesbian students, with 90% reporting being bullied.

Lady Gaga is absolutely right when she says this is a hate crime, and it must be stopped.

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On Saturday, September 17, the second annual 5K walk and race was held in Springfield, Massachusetts in loving memory of Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, but this year’s 5K had a little something extra.

I’m sure you remember the story that broke our hearts in April of 2009, when 11-year old Carl hung himself after bullies at his school repeatedly harassed him calling him gay.

In spite of Sirdeaner L. Walker’s repeated pleas to the New Leadership Charter School to address the problem, the bullying was relentless. Sadly, Sirdeaner found Carl’s dead body just minutes before she was going to meet with school authorities again to confront them regarding her son’s ordeal.

Since this tragic incident, Sirdeaner has become a national spokesperson for anti-bullying, even appearing at the White House to spread her message. And this annual 5K race and walk is another way for her to get the message out: “Be a Buddy, not a Bully,” the message hundreds of teens rallied around at this event. (Follow this link to the Carl Joseph Foundation website.) 

Many of the participants of this year’s event were friends of the family, although some were simply drawn by the cause. Sabrina Bolden, a Springfield resident who knows the family well, said of Carl’s suicide, “It was really devastating to the whole community… It touched all of us.”

One thousand people participated in the event last year, but that was nothing compared to this year’s event. You see, Sirdeaner’s appearance at the White House attracted the attention of the television show, “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition,” who decided they wanted to help out this family.

Michael Moloney and his team rebuilt Carl’s mother’s home in the hopes that the publicity it brought would provide a platform which would allow the Walker-Hoover family to share what they have lived through with millions of people. “When we heard the family’s story, what they’ve been through and what they are doing with their story, the difference they are making, we knew that we needed to be here.”

Ty Pennington and Celtics’ guard Ray Allen showed up at this year’s 5K with the production staff of “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition,” adding to the excitement and drawing a much larger crowd compared to last year’s. Organizers of the event were thrilled by the increased participation saying that their message is resonating more than ever, while acknowledging the need to keep fighting against bullying.

In an effort to keep the crowd hyped-up, Sirdeaner and her three children were kept in an SUV for a surprise introduction to the crowd before the race began. And the slogan of the 5K, “Be a Buddy, not a Bully” was joined with the shows message of “Stand Together,” while a website in Carl’s honor was revealed live on stage, and runners were greeted with cheers and the show’s balloon message at the end of the race.

Sirdeaner, who held back tears as she crossed the finish line with her children said, “The past two years have been really difficult. Part of it is … when I go around and speak, I have to share Carl’s story and so I have to relive the most horrible day of my life over and over.”

But she continued, “Carl would just be so honored and so proud the Greater Springfield community has rallied together around the issue.”

The proceeds from the race went to a scholarship fund for local students. And, the family’s new home was unveiled on September 16. (I do not know when that show will air, however.)

Thank you, Sirdeaner, for being willing to bear the pain each time you tell Carl’s story. By doing so, you bring new awareness to those who need to understand how destructive bullying can be to our youth.

And thank you “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition,” for treating this family to a new beginning and for helping to spread the message that we do need to “Stand Together Against Bullying” if we hope to put an end to bullying once and for all.

Bullying, Teacher-World's Blog, teen suicide "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition", Bullying, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, Sirdeaner L. Walker, Springfield, Stand Together Against Bullying, suicide

I am a little irate tonight as I write about a group of unpatriotic people who are hiding behind anti-bullying sentiment in order to advance their own agenda.

The Brookline Political Action for Peace, a group which has formed in a Massachusetts town, is asking that the Pledge of Allegiance be banned in public schools since, are you ready for this, “it has no educational value and is reminiscent of totalitarian regimes.”

Those in support of this ban claim that it would protect students who do not wish to recite the pledge from being bullied by their peers.

Yet, almost every year, I have at least one student in my classroom that is a Jehovah Witness and does not recite the pledge, and I have never, in all my years of teaching, witnessed or even heard of, any child being bullied because they refuse to join in. So, I’m going to call a spade a spade and tell you that I don’t buy this reason at all.

Lawyer and co-chairman of the group, Marty Rosenthal told the Boston Herald that the pledge is “at odds with America’s most important traditions.” He says that his support of this ban is not to be construed as unpatriotic.

Really? Well, I have the right to construe this ban however I choose to construe it, and I’m telling you, you can dress this up anyway you want to, but it still looks unpatriotic to me. Furthermore, if you were to ask people to list some of “America’s most important traditions” I would bet my life on the fact that reciting the Pledge of Allegiance would be one of the first traditions on everyone’s list.

But this group, for whatever reason, doesn’t just want the town to allow their children the choice to abstain from reciting the pledge in school; they need to take that right away from the rest of the children and teachers in their town who might actually find some value and inspiration in participating in this American tradition.

And I don’t want to even think about the message that banning the Pledge of Allegiance would send to those who have served, are currently serving, or have lost a family member who served in the military!

The pledge is optional in suburban schools in Boston already. That should be enough! If your kids aren’t being forced to say the Pledge, why would those of you who belong to the Brookline Political Action for Peace think you have the right to take away the right to say the Pledge for those who wish to do so?

In November, the people of this town will have the opportunity to vote to pass a nonbinding resolution on this idea. I hope the citizens of this town send a resounding message to stop this unpatriotic baloney!

Hang some flags from your cars and trucks when you go to vote, too, just to send your message loud and clear. Because the American flag is the next thing they’ll be going after if they win this round!

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A new state law in New Jersey to curb bullying in their schools is being called the toughest legislation against bullying in the nation, and it’s receiving both support and apprehension.

The new law, called the Anti-Bullying Bill of Rights was motivated by public uproar over the suicide of Rutgers University freshman, Tyler Clementi, almost a year ago. It requires all public schools to adopt comprehensive anti-bullying policies (there are 18 pages of “required components”) to increase staff training, and to comply with strict deadlines for reporting episodes.

Each school is required to designate an anti-bullying specialist, whose job it is to investigate all complaints of bullying in their school, and each district must appoint an anti-bullying coordinator. Additionally, every effort made by districts will be evaluated by the State Education Department, which will post grades on its website. According to superintendents in the state, educators who refuse to comply could lose their licenses.

While many parents and educators are more than willing to do what is necessary to control bullying both in schools and online, some school board members and superintendents across the state claim that this law, which is slated to take effect tomorrow, goes way too far. They also complain that they have not been given the additional resources it will take to meet the demands this law will place on their schools.

Richard G. Bozza, executive director of the New Jersey Association of School Administrators said, “I think this has gone well overboard. Now we have to police the community 24 hours a day. Where are the people and the resources to do this?”

In general, schools are using their guidance counselors and social workers to take on the role of anti-bullying specialists. While this may seem like the best alternative, it raises concerns as to whether they have either the time or experience to investigate every complaint of harassment or intimidation as well as filling out the detailed reports that are required, all the while fulfilling all their usual job-related obligations.

An additional concern of some administrators is whether making the schools legally responsible for bullying both in and out of school will make them more vulnerable to complaints and possible lawsuits when students and parents are not satisfied with the outcome of their investigations.

To prepare for the implementing of this law, thousands of school employees spent part of their summer attending training sessions, and more than 200 districts purchased a package compiled by a consulting firm that includes a 100-page manual and a DVD. Cost of the package? $1,295!

Some of those who attended left feeling, like Meg Duffy, a little overwhelmed with the mandates of this new law. A counselor at the Hillside Intermediate School in Bridgewater, she said that there had been an increase in cyberbullying at her school last year, with students texting and/or posting mean comments about other students. These are the kinds of situations this new bill would demand that schools get involved with as well as bullying at school.

Districts are also required under this law to appoint a safety team including teachers, other staff members, and parents at each school. Their job would be to review complaints. It also requires principals to begin investigations of reports of bullying within one school day of the bullying episode. Superintendents need to provide reports to Trenton two times a year which contains details of all of the bullying episodes their district deals with each year.

One district that is taking this law very seriously is the East Hanover district. They have partnered with Crimestoppers, a program of the Morris County sheriff’s office, with the intent of making the reporting of bullying easier. But the fact that Crimestoppers will accept anonymous text messages, calls, or tips to its website is a little frightening. These anonymous tips will be forwarded to schools and local police officials.

This district is spending $3,000 to train its staff, including coaches, cafeteria workers, custodians, and substitute teachers. Joseph L. Ricca, the district’s superintendent, said, “We really want to be able to implement this new law and achieve results.” But he added, that the law’s “sheer scope may prove to be a bit unwieldy and may require some practical refinement.”

 “The whole push is to incorporate the anti-bullying process into the culture,” Lucila Hernandez, a school psychologist, said. “We’re empowering children to use the term ‘bullying’ and to speak up for themselves and for others.”

At North Hunterdon High School, students will be learning that if they see bullying, they have a responsibility to try to stop it because there is no such thing as an innocent bystander.

Dr. Margaret Dolan, the Westfield superintendent expressed concern that, due to this new law, both parents and students may find it easier to call minor disagreements bullying, instead of trying to find ways to work out their differences. 

 “Kids have to learn to deal with conflict,” she said. “What a shame if they don’t know how to effectively interact with their peers when they have a disagreement.”

Now, I must admit, as much as I advocate developing stronger anti-bullying policies in our schools, this law seems so big and so unmanageable that I fear it is going to create chaos. There is simply no way that every single reported incident of bullying is going to be handled within a day by already overworked principals, and that superintendents will be able to find the time to fill out the detailed reports on every incident that is investigated. These expectations are unreasonable when no additional resources are being provided.

The other huge problem I see with this law is the reporting, just as Dr. Dolan said, of every frivolous disagreement between students, which would further inundate the specialists and principals in an avalanche of reports to be investigated, making it difficult or impossible to get to the serious incidents of bullying that really do require intervention.

Finally, the idea of taking anonymous tips is extremely problematic. I am sure that some kids will use this opportunity as it is intended; to report incidents of bullying that they would be afraid to admit to publicly. But you can’t tell me that some wouldn’t view this as the perfect opportunity to get back at someone they harbor a grudge against by calling in a bogus tip just to get that person in trouble, or maybe even to take the spotlight off of their own bullying.

I am all for tougher anti-bullying policies in our schools, and I believe the intent of this law is commendable. I just fear that it is such an overwhelming venture that the likelihood of its success is bleak. I would hope that, if it does prove to be too wide in its scope, future revisions might make it more manageable and more successful.

Good luck New Jersey! I would not be upset if you prove me wrong!

Bullying, Teacher's Unions, teen suicide Anti-Bullying Bill of Rights, Bullying, cyberbullying, New Jersey schools, Tyler Clementi

A controversial new book is slated to hit the bookstores in October, but it already has parents up in arms over what they perceive to be its negative messages for kids.

Paul Kramer is the author of the children’s book called Maggie Goes on a Diet; a book about an overweight 14-year old who is bullied by other kids who call her “chubby” and “fatty.” Maggie decides to do something to lose weight, but she does so in a healthy way. Rather than starve herself, she begins to eat “healthy and nutritious” foods, eats less junk food allowing herself a “normal-sized treat” once a week, exercises every day, and even joins the soccer team.

So far, it sounds fairly innocuous, right? Unfortunately, Kramer begins to send a potentially problematic message when his book, written in rhyme, proclaims the results of Maggie’s efforts. The book states, “Losing the weight was not only good for Maggie’s health, Maggie was so much happier and was also very proud of herself,” and “More and more people were beginning to know Maggie by name. Playing soccer gave Maggie popularity and fame.”

So, what is causing the huge ruckus over this book? First, the title is an issue in and of itself for many parents. Many parents are concerned with the suggestion that children should go on diets, as the title seems to suggest. They argue that girls are already so susceptible to obsessing about their weight due to our culture’s focus on thin, model-like bodies.

Adrienne Ressler from Ft. Lauderdale, Florida commented, “The idea of this book makes me want to either cry or scream — actually both. It’s bad enough that the messages and images in the culture have co-opted most women into loathing their bodies, but targeting the insecurities of young girls, vulnerable to the risk of developing an eating disorder, borders on promoting high risk behaviors and attitudes that are destructive both physically and psychologically. Please take this book off the market.”

On GMA, Kramer was asked why he had to include the word “diet” in the title because it sends the wrong message. He basically said that if the title was Maggie Eats Healthy it would probably be overlooked. Probably the wrong answer for someone who, according to his own statements, is advocated exactly that; eating healthy and exercising.

This brings up another problem people have with the book: Why did he make the main character a girl rather than a boy? Cathleen Connors, the author of HerBadMother.com told The Daily Caller, “It’s so interesting that he didn’t write it about a boy, and that he uses girl-body-image stereotypes to make his point-young girl dreaming about fitting into nice jeans, etc.”

When girls are far more likely to develop eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia, it seems irresponsible to target girls in his story.

Another problem with this book is that while Maggie is supposed to be a 14-year old girl, the actual reading level of the book is much lower than 14. Amazon places the reading level between ages 4 and 8, while Barnes & Noble places it between 6 and 12. Many who have posted irate comments argue that little girls shouldn’t even know what a diet is, and they certainly shouldn’t be encouraged by a book to go on one.

In an interview on Fox News, Kramer defended the accusation that his book is aimed at younger children. He said, “I’m not advocating, never did, that any child should go on a diet. First of all, this is a change of lifestyle. This is not meant to be to go on a diet.”

Yet, a few seconds later, he admitted that Maggie did go on a diet just as the title claims.

Yet another problem with the book is its indifference and implied acceptance of the bullying that Maggie experiences. At no point in the story do the bullies face consequences for their actions or show remorse for what they put Maggie through. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth because it seems to tell young people that if you don’t want to be bullied anymore, you need to change what is different about you rather than be accepted for who you are.

Wrong, wrong, wrong! This negates all the anti-bullying messages out there as it shifts the work from the bully to the victim. This book would have been far more powerful, as far as I am concerned, if through a series of events, the bullies had taken responsibility for their actions and learned to see the things about Maggie that make her special, instead of only seeing her as chubby.

Isn’t that the real lesson we want our kids to be learning; that in spite of our differences, we are all worthy of respect and fair treatment? This book muddies that simple message up terribly.

Which leads me to the last big problem with this book. This book has been criticized because it sends the message that being thin will make you happy, will make kids accept you, and will make you popular. Kramer took issue with this criticism saying, “If one is obese, and one loses a bunch of weight, and one becomes fit, I think the rewards of just accomplishing that is good enough.”

But that isn’t the implication in the story; the book says, “More and more people were beginning to know Maggie by name. Playing soccer gave Maggie popularity and fame.” Now, I’m sorry, but any child reading this book, especially a child from 6 to 12-years old, is going to hear the implied message that Maggie became popular and famous because she lost a bunch of weight! I don’t care how Kramer tries to spin this; the message is very clear.

The only positive aspect of this book is its suggestion for healthy eating habits combined with exercise. If the author had written a book that showed how these two healthy habits made a child healthier, most importantly, and also thinner, and that they developed these habits because they wanted to be healthier, I think parents would have praised him for his book. But this message gets lost amidst all of the other disastrous messages.

I am not advocating boycotting this book when it comes out in October, and I don’t think Paul Kramer intentionally wrote a book to get young girls to diet or to make them feel worse about themselves. But I do feel that his choice of character, his unresolved bullying storyline, the genre he chose and its readability level, and the messages this book screams out to young girls are extremely unfortunate.

Would I want my daughter to read this book at a young age? Absolutely not! Would I encourage you to let your daughters read this book? No way! Even if you are reading it with them and trying to undo the implied messages along the way, I fear that girls will only hear the message that Kramer hammered home: You will not be popular or happy if you are overweight, so you’d better go on a diet, girls!

In my opinion, Maggie Goes on a Diet is an unfortunate book with some dangerous messages. But what do you think? Check it out through this link, and let us know how you feel about it.

Bullying, child obesity, Teacher-World's Blog Bullying, child obesity, Maggie Goes on a Diet, Paul Kramer

I’m always interested in information that I can relay to readers about how children can defend themselves against bullying, so when I read this story about the use of Brazilian jiu-jitsu to ward off bullies, I felt compelled to share it with you. I am not advertising or promoting this program, but I find it very intriguing. Perhaps you will, too.

Let’s start with a little background. Rener and Ryron Gracie, sons of Rorion Gracie, UFC coordinator and grandsons of Helio Gracie, the legendary Brazilian jiu-jitsu grandmaster, developed a program designed specifically for younger children who are the target of taunts, shoves, kicks, and punches.

They became interested in utilizing their jiu-jitsu training to give children the courage to stick up for themselves after learning that more than 150,000 students miss school every day because they are afraid that they will be bullied.

So Rener created the Gracie Bullyproof program using jiu-jitsu. Jiu-jitsu is a calculated, mostly nonviolent form of self-defense which uses leverages, locks, and holds to neutralize a larger, stronger foe when they are both off of their feet and fighting in close proximity to each other. Rener and Ryron believe that combined with an understanding of the proper rules of engagement in a school setting, knowledge of jiu-jitsu can help a child fight of a bully.

Let me tell you about one child whose life was changed by this program. Martin Hendricks is a 12-year old who had been bullied for several years by other students at his school.

His mother, Wendy, said, “His grades suffered and he would never stick up for himself. He’s a nice, gentle soul kind of kid and now he didn’t even want to go to school.

Wendy learned about the Gracie Bullyproof program from an online video, and decided to take her son to California and enroll him. Martin spent a week at the academy where he was given private jiu-jitsu lessons by Rener each evening, and was taught a plan for dealing with a bully fairly.

Martin learned what is called the three T-steps:
* TALK to the bully and ask him to leave you alone.
* TELL the teacher and your parent that the bully won’t stop even after you’ve talked to him.
* TACKLE the bully and use jiu-jitsu to gain control of him without resorting to punches or kicks.

Clearly, some bullies will back off when a school administrator is contacted by the parent of the victim, and the situation may be resolved. But some bullies will continue to harass their victims, so notifying both a teacher and parent that they have been asked to stop is an insurance policy for the victim in case they need to go to the third step of this Gracie Bullyproof program.

Renner told Martin, “If you draw that line with your words and the bully respects it, the case is closed without a physical altercation. But if you draw that line and they slap you, kick you, cross that line again, you don’t think twice. You take both of your hands and push him as hard as you can in the chest. You blast him. Knock him off his feet. Then take control using jiu-jitsu and tell him you will let him go if he promises not to bother you any longer. If he won’t say it, wait until a teacher or another adult shows up before letting him up.”

As a result of his training, Martin went back to school with a little more confidence. But after being back to school for four weeks, the bullying started again. Martin said he called Rener for advice, and Rener asked him, “Martin, would you rather fight one time and be protected for the rest of your life, or do you want to get bullied for the rest of your life?”

According to Wendy, Martin agreed that he would rather fight. And the next day, Martin was harassed again by the same boy who also began to bully Martin’s friend. Then the boy began hitting Martin and threw his water bottle at him.

Martin did what he had been trained to do; he pushed the boy in the chest with both hands, knocking him to the ground, then he pinned him to the ground by placing his knee on his chest and holding his arms down. Martin held him down without hurting him until the principal showed up.

The principal took both boys to his office, listened to their stories, and called their parents. Wendy admits that she was thrilled that her son had finally had the courage to stand up for himself.

The story has a happy ending. The principal told Martin that, even though fighting was not tolerated, he felt that it was an appropriate response to what had happened. The bully apologized to Martin in front of other students, and the word spread quickly. And Martin has been bully-free ever since.

Did it work in this case? Apparently it did. Is it worth the time and the money? That’s up to you. I offer this as an option to those of you who may be at your wit’s end because you have a child who is being picked on by a bigger child and they are too afraid to do anything but take it.

I don’t know that all school administrators would be so understanding of someone like Martin who uses jiu-jitsu in their school. But I do believe that children have the right to defend themselves from attack, and this program seems to give children the courage to stand up for themselves without inflicting injury.

For those of you who might be interested, you can either enroll your child in the Gracie Academy in Torrance, California, or other certified Gracie Jiu-Jitsu Training Centers around the world, or you can order the Gracie Bullyproof program which is available on DVD. Go to GracieAcademy.com for more information.

Bullying, Teacher-World's Blog Bullying, Gracie Academy, Gracie Bullyproof program, jiu-jitsu

With school starting again in districts all over the country, it is important for those of us in education to remember that in order for our students to learn and be successful in our classrooms, we must provide a safe environment in which children feel accepted and encouraged by their teachers and their peers. In other words, we need to work together to build bully-free schools.

We all know how common bullying is in schools, and we have certainly seen the terrible consequences of relentless bullying. The website eHow family recently provided some important information regarding this subject, and I would like to share some of its more salient points and conclude with a recent study regarding bullying and its possible affect on grades.

First, we are already aware that often bullies are kids who have been bullied themselves and are trying to regain some power by dominating someone else. But eHow family tells us that often these kids who become bullies were either abused by adults or witnessed some type of domestic violence at home. These kids generally target someone who is different or socially isolated to continue the pattern of abuse. 

Kids who are bullied may experience problems in school, such as trouble concentrating. They usually experience difficulty interacting with their peers because they are self-conscious and afraid of rejection, especially if the child who is bullying them is accepted and liked by other children. The victim may begin to steer clear of school activities like class reports or presentations and group projects. Some will even stay home from school, resulting in excessive absences which lead to poor academic performance.

The self-image of a bullied child is adversely affected due to the emotional pain of name-calling and verbal harassment and the physical pain if they are being pushed, hit, etc. They begin to fear that all of their peers see them as the bully does; weak, or a “loser”. They may even begin to feel that they somehow deserve the bullying, which will negatively affect their social skills. And often, fear that they will be tormented even more if they tell an adult keeps them silent.

As children get older, their increased size and hormonal changes make them more aggressive. As a result, victims of bullying are at risk for more serious injuries. And both the victim and his bully have a greater risk of behaviors that include dropping out of school, running away from home, or alcohol and substance abuse. Teens who are bullied, as we have certainly read in recent news reports, may even become suicidal.

There are some devastating long-term effects of bullying which can last well into adulthood. Victims may have difficulty trusting others, fearing that they will always be hurt and betrayed which can affect their friendships and other relationships. It is also likely that that their relationship issues will affect future educational and career opportunities. A common issue shared by victims and bullies is anger. Victims may even hold on to a desire for retaliation.

Now, preliminary results from recent research indicate that bullying may contribute to a drop in high school students’ grade point averages (GPAs). The study polled 9,590 students from 580 U.S. high schools, and here’s what researchers found.

Compared to those who weren’t bullied, students who were bullied in tenth grade experienced a 0.049 drop in their GPA between ninth and twelfth grade.

Lisa M. Williams, the lead author and a doctoral student in sociology at Ohio State University, had this to say in a news release: “This effect, though small, is highly significant and suggests that bullying negatively affects GPA even after factoring in previous grades, family background and school characteristics often associated with achievement, which are all variables the study controls for.”

These effects were stronger among high-achieving black and Hispanic students. Black students, for example, who had a 3.5 in ninth grade and then were bullied in tenth, experienced a 0.3 points decrease by the time they reached twelfth grade. The drop was more significant for Hispanic students who started with a 3.5 GPA in ninth grade and reported being bullied in tenth; they experienced a 0.5 point decrease in their GPA by twelfth grade.

When you compare those statistics with those of white students with a 3.5 GPA in ninth grade who were bullied in tenth, their decrease was only 0.03 points by twelfth grade. So what is the difference?

“Stereotypes about black and Latino youth suggest that they perform poorly in school,” Williams said. “High-achieving blacks and Latinos who do not conform to these stereotypes may be especially vulnerable to the effect bullying has on grades.”

So, what’s the point? Very simply, no matter how you feel personally about the issue of bullying in schools, it is clearly a detriment in regards to students’ ability to succeed both emotionally and academically. We owe it to our students to do more than most schools currently do to get a handle on this pervasive issue.

I volunteered recently to take a newly enrolled student who is attending our school this year to escape ongoing bullying at his previous school. My question is this: If schools are doing all they can to establish a zero tolerance of bullying, why would any student have to leave a school to escape being bullied?

It is clear that we are not effectively resolving bullying issues in our schools. Too many of us have the attitude that bullying has always been around, will always be around, and we aren’t going to be able to stop it. We need to change that way of thinking.

I am not naive enough to think that all bullying is going to be irradiated in our schools, but we certainly owe it to our students to make it a priority to teach children at an early age that bullying is unacceptable. We need to teach, as part of our curriculum, how to affectively get along with others even when they are different from ourselves.

Every essential skill that students need to learn to be successful in and out of school requires repeated reinforcement. So too, interpersonal skills need to be reinforced just as persistently.

And when bullying occurs in our schools, we need to act every time, relaying the clear message that our schools are bully-free zones.

We can change the way children interact with other children, but like anything else we teach, it will take time, perseverance, and commitment. I think it’s well worth the effort.

What about you?

Bullying, Changes in Teaching, Teacher-World's Blog, teen suicide Bullying, high school GPAs