Teacher World

I recently wrote a blog about Billy Lucas, the 15-year old Greensburg High School student who took his life after months of relentless bullying from students who assumed he was gay. There was a reason for my writing about an incident that occurred last September.

I want to tell you about a wonderful message of hope that sprang from this tragedy; I want you to listen to Dan Savage, if you haven’t already done so. This is a truly inspirational plea to teens like Billy who face bullying due to their actual or perceived sexual orientation.

Dan Savage is the creator of a syndicated sex-advice column called “Savage Love”. After reading about Billy Lucas, Savage said he wished he could have had five minutes to talk to him before he made his fateful decision to end his life. He wished he could have told him “however bad things were, however isolated and alone he was, it gets better.”

That’s when he decided, although it was too late to help Billy Lucas, it was not too late to talk to the millions of kids who were growing up just like him; those kids who were dealing with harassment and bullying because of their real or perceived sexual orientation. He and his husband, Terry Miller, posted a video in which they talked about the issues they faced as teenagers because they were gay. They addressed the bullying and harassment they faced especially in high school and admitted that it was a horrible time in their lives.

But the real message of their video was that they not only got through it but have a wonderful life, surrounded by family and friends who support them. They talked about their favorite memories and the joy they have shared through the adoption of their son. They spoke of hope and living life fully. But most of all, the message that resonated throughout their video was: “Hang in there. You will get through high school, and things will get better.”

“When a gay teenager commits suicide, it’s because he can’t picture a life for himself that’s filled with joy and family and pleasure and is worth sticking around for,” Savage said. “So I felt it was really important that, as gay adults, we show them that our lives are good and happy and healthy and that there’s a life worth sticking around for after high school.”

This simple video was the birth of a wonderful project which has been embraced by other gay, bisexual, and transgender adults. The goal of the It Gets Better Project is to show youth who face bullying of any kind, but specifically bullying due to their sexual orientation, that life does get better. The goal is to encourage and fortify them so that they get through the rough years in order to enjoy the better years to come.

Their project received national coverage after the apparent suicide of 18-year old Tyler Clementi, the Rutgers University student who committed suicide after his roommate and a friend posted a video of him in a sexual encounter with another man.

This time, Savage lamented that the videos were too late for Tyler. “Anybody whose privacy was invaded the way Tyler Clementi’s privacy was invaded would’ve been outraged, humiliated and embarrassed and angry, but we have to ask ourselves: What pushed him to suicide?” Savage said. “I believe that this video invasion of his privacy, this streaming of this intimate, private moment, this outing was the last straw. And I suspect that Tyler Clementi, as we find out more about him, we’ll find that he was a victim of bullying in high school, bullying in middle school … It’s really hard to look at this suicide and not see, perhaps, the culmination of years and years of abuse, and a moment — for Tyler Clementi — of despair.”

After the Clementi case, the It Gets Better Project was literally flooded with videos from all over the world submitted by LGBT individuals who wanted to share their stories as well. And while their messages of hope have been truly inspirational, Savage worried that once media focus shifted to something else, people would forget that there were so many other young people facing the same abusive behavior all over the world. Therefore, he has promised to continue sending positive messages to young people through It Gets Better as long as possible.

“It’s been so overwhelming, [and] we want to create an archive that lives online forever, for each generation of gay kids coming up, so they can go there and they can see these stories,” Savage said. “I’m hearing from mothers of bullied gay teenagers who are sitting down to watch these videos together and taking such hope for their futures, and that’s what I want to see. I want to see the people who need to see these videos finding their way to them. Not just today or tomorrow, but whenever.”

I know that these videos have been around for awhile, and some of you have probably already viewed a few of them. But, if you haven’t seen them yet, I encourage you, whether you are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, straight, bullied, not bullied, or a bully yourself, to watch them. They are beautiful messages of hope at a time when so many young people need to hear words that will give them the courage to continue on.

Click on these links to hear President Obama, Adam Lambert, and Glee’s Max Adler’s videos on It Gets Better. Explore some more on your own, and if you know a young person who needs to hear words like these to encourage and strengthen them to hang in, please pass the message on as well as the website.

We must teach children that suicide is not the answer; it does get better!

Bullying, Teacher-World's Blog "Savage Love", Billy Lucas, Bullying, Dan Savage, It Gets Better, teen suicide, Tyler Clementi

Yesterday, I blogged about Sharon Chanon Velazquez, one of the teens accused of bullying Phoebe Prince. Well, what a surprise! Yesterday, five of the six defendants who are being charged in connection with this case also admitted to lesser charges in order to avoid the more serious charges facing them.

Sharon Chanon Velazquez, Kayla Narey, Ashley Longe, Flannery Mullins, and Sean Mulveyhill faced felony and misdemeanor charges, which include civil rights violations, causing bodily injury, criminal harassment, and disruption of a school assembly. According to a source directly involved in this case, the five of them will be allowed to plead guilty to the lesser charge of harassment, thus avoiding all of these more serious charges.

Additionally, Flannery and Velazquez faced stalking charges and Mulveyhill was being charged with statutory rape. These charges will also be dropped under the agreement.

If the pleas are approved by the judge, the teens will probably receive probation, although they could receive up to 2 ½ years in jail. Other charges may remain: Longe is charged with assaulting Prince by throwing an energy drink in an aluminum can at her, and Austin Renaud still faces statutory rape charges. At this point, Renaud’s lawyer hasn’t been discussing a possible deal.

All but Renaud have court dates either on May 5 or 6. Renaud has a pretrial conference scheduled for July 6.

Phoebe Prince’s family could not be reached for comment. But one can only assume they are heartbroken as they face the likelihood that little will be done to punish those who played a role in their daughter’s tortured existence and eventual suicide.

And what about other parents at South Hadley High School who have rallied around this family? They are appropriately outraged by the news from yesterday.

 “I think it’s horrible,” said Dawn Berard, the mother of a student at South Hadley High School, where Prince was a 15-year-old Irish transfer student. “This case was like the shot heard around the world. It got people thinking about bullying. And because of that, all eyes are on these kids. (Authorities) need to send the message that if you bully someone to death, you will face the consequences.”

“If Judge Daniel Swords accepts the plea deals, he should order them to speak out against bullying in schools,” said parent Barrie Chambers-Leonard. “There’s a girl in a grave in Ireland.”

A few short months before Phoebe Prince committed suicide, Barbara Coloroso, an expert on bullying, had lectured about bullying at the school. Asked about this case, she stated that any sentence should include “restitution, resolution, and reconciliation.”

She explained that the only way these teens will learn from their mistakes is if they publicly admit what they did, make sure that any and all derogatory remarks that were made about Prince on the Internet are removed, even if they have to pay someone to do it, and they need to speak to other teens regarding the mistakes they made publicly in schools in order to send a different message to teens about bullying. Finally, she said these teens must find a way to reach out to the Prince family in order to express their remorse.

 Coloroso added, “I have never believed in the fist of vengeance, but I also want them held accountable.”

The sad truth is that if these teens are not admitting to everything that they did, if they are still covering up their vicious behavior and the roles they played in Phoebe’s suicide, hiding behind the lesser charge of harassment, it is extremely unlikely that “restitution, resolution, and reconciliation” are going to occur.

How will probation wake kids like this up? What message will be sent by this weak punishment? Where is the accountability, and how is this court sending a message that will make other kids stop and think before they bully others?

I am disheartened tonight to read this news. An opportunity to teach young children about accountability has been lost. And I am so deeply angry that a family, who has had to endure the worst possible tragedy, will continue to feel the hopelessness and pain that they have felt ever since their daughter had the misfortune of colliding with these viciously relentless bullies.

Bullying, Teacher-World's Blog Ashley Longe, Austin Renaud, Bullying, Flannery Mullins, Kayla Narey, Massachusetts, Phoebe Prince, Sean Mulveyhill, Sharon Chanon Velazquez, South Hadley, teen suicide

You may recall the tragic story of a 15-year old Irish immigrant who killed herself in January of 2010, after being relentlessly bullied by a group of students at her school. Let me refresh your memory about the case first and then give you an update about her bullies.

Phoebe Prince was a pretty, young girl whose parents, Jeremy and Anne O’Brien Prince, had moved from County Clare in Ireland to Massachusetts with five kids just before her freshman year. Phoebe had a difficult time at South Hadley High School which seemed to stem from the fact that she briefly dated a senior on the football team who happened to be an on-again, off-again boyfriend of one of the girls who became her tormentor.

This is when the bullying intensified; Phoebe was called an Irish slut and other verbal insults at school and over the phone, was cornered in the bathroom by one of the bullies, threatened physically, and stalked on the Internet. She received bullying texts, and harassing messages were regularly posted on Facebook.

Two days before she was to attend the winter cotillion with a boy at the school, Phoebe was walking home when one of the bullies drove past hurling an energy drink at her along with terrible insults before driving away.

Phoebe continued walking home straight to her closet where she hung herself. She was found there by her sister who called the police.

But the sick tragedy doesn’t end there, because these lovely girls who had driven her to the edge wrote more heartless messages about her on a Facebook page which had been created in her memory. Who is that evil?

Well, five teens apparently, because two months after her death, they were charged with offenses connected to the alleged bullying. A sixth teen is being charged with statutory rape for having sexual contact with Phoebe, who was underage. Of course, all of these teens pled not guilty.

The first of these teens, Sharon Chanon Velazquez, struck a plea agreement with prosecutors this past Tuesday. If the plea agreement is accepted, it would be the first case to be resolved in connection with Phoebe’s suicide.

Velazquez and two other teenage girls are charged with stalking, criminal harassment, and violation of Prince’s civil rights. Velazquez and her two friends, Ashley Longe and Flannery Mullins were angry over the fact that Phoebe went out with Austin Renaud, who was Mullins’ sometimes boyfriend. They have been charged in juvenile court.

Austin Renaud and Sean Mulveyhill are facing statutory rape charges, and Mulveyhill and Kayla Narey, his ex-girlfriend, also face the same civil rights charges that Velazquez, Longe, and Mullins face, but they were older when they were charged, so their cases will be heard in superior court.

Prosecutors described Velazquez as displaying “a pattern of assaultive conduct” including crude insults and violent threats toward Phoebe. Longe is charged with calling Phoebe terrible names like “Irish whore” and “stupid slut” in the school library, throwing a drink at her in a can and yelling more insults at her on the day Phoebe committed suicide. And Mullins threatened to beat Phoebe up, cornered her in the school’s bathroom, repeatedly called her names like Irish slut, and posting derogatory comments about her on Facebook.

According to prosecutors, on top of the charges that these teens face in juvenile court proceedings, Longe, Mullins, and Velazquez face separate delinquency cases listing the same alleged offenses and criminal harassment charges. Additionally, Longe is being charged with assault, under delinquency statutes.

So, no big surprise that Velazquez’s attorney would try for a plea bargain, huh? The terms of this deal haven’t been disclosed yet in the motion which was filed Tuesday in juvenile court. Meanwhile, her attorney and prosecutors will present it to a judge for consideration on May 5.

I guess my gut reaction is that whatever is proposed in this plea bargain for Velazquez’s punishment will never be enough. I know that these kids’ parents have lawyered up. I get that, but do they realize the devastation their actions have created? Do they see that bullying and stalking and degrading another human being are truly criminal offenses? Do they lay awake wishing they could take back the things they said, the threats they made, the insults they posted? Do they think at all about this wasted life; this beautiful, young girl who will never have the opportunity to reach her potential and to embrace this country her parents brought her to for a better life?

If they are allowed to walk away from the devastation they caused with a minor slap on the wrist, will they walk away changed, or will they remain the mean-spirited, revenge-driven, evil predators who were emboldened by their misguided sense of justice to willfully and maliciously stalk and batter a defenseless, young girl whose only crime was to date someone’s occasional boyfriend?

Justice must prevail, or this kind of behavior will prevail!

Bullying, Teacher-World's Blog Bullying, Massachusetts, Phoebe Prince, Sharon Chanon Velazquez, teen suicide

On March 26, I posted a blog about Michael Phelps, a 15-year old from Martinsville, Indiana, who shot a fellow student at his school. This is an update on that sad story.

Before I tell you about the judge’s decision in a waiver hearing to decide whether to try Phelps as an adult or a juvenile, let me tell you what else has been learned about March 25; that fateful day when Phelps tried to take another student’s life. These facts were gleaned from the evidence presented in the course of the two-day waiver hearing which ended on Monday, April 18.

Brian Chambers, the lead detective in the case said that sometime between March 15 and March 18, Phelps showed a friend a gun and bullets which he claimed he had stolen from someone who was raising him. According to the friend, Phelps told him that he got the gun to kill Chance Jackson, a student he admitted to having an ongoing conflict with that he was anxious to end.

At 6:25 A.M., on March 25, Phelps sent a text to a friend in which he inferred that he was going to shoot Jackson. He also posted a last message on his Facebook page which read, “Today is the day.” (All of these facts make this attack appear to be premeditated, which hurt Phelps in court.)

At 6:44 A.M., Phelps arrived at Martinsville West Middle School, even though he was previously suspended pending expulsion for saying he was going to blow up the school. At 7:07, he began heading in the direction of Door 2 as he informed a friend, “Chance is about to get (expletive) up.”

According to detective testimony, when Phelps saw Jackson, he confronted him saying that he had heard Chance had been talking badly about him. Jackson told Phelps he wasn’t going to fight in school, but Phelps reportedly told Jackson, “We will see about that.” At this point, Phelps fired two shots at Jackson.

Jackson was shot twice in the stomach, and since then, has undergone multiple surgeries to repair injuries to seven organs. “Obviously this is a very long recovery,” said Catherine Michael, a spokeswoman for Jackson’s family. “He suffered very severe injuries.

So what would cause a 15-year old to shoot another student like this? According to a child psychologist who spoke in court, Michael Phelps is a child who resents authority and has experienced multiple incidents of “profound rejection.” He was described in court as being “raised in a destructive, substance-abuse-ridden, chaotic home with no significant and responsible parent in his life.”

The psychologist said that Phelps confessed to feeling detached from himself and unable to control his actions. He claims he felt as though something happened to him on the day of the shootings.

The child psychologist further claimed that alcohol and marijuana abuse plagued Phelps, who admitted that at points of his life he was “high all the time.” Phelps tested positive for marijuana at the juvenile detention center even though he claimed he last used marijuana three weeks before the shooting. He further said that Phelps is of average intelligence but suffers from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and, lacking normal coping skill, he uses anger to cope.

Karen Quickery, Phelps’ mother, testified that her drinking problem was the cause of much of her son’s anger and that she may have been too lenient with him. “Maybe I wasn’t strong enough to stay with the discipline,” she told the court.

A picture was painted of Quickery as being a pretty absent parent. Morgan Superior Court Judge Christopher Burnham noted that this past New Year’s Eve, when Michael was picked up while wandering the streets in the early morning with other kids, in possession of a marijuana pipe, Quickery couldn’t be located. And a recent notice for her to appear at an expulsion hearing at the school, sent by certified mail, was returned unclaimed.

Based on the evidence in the case, Judge Burnham said he had little choice but to waive Phelps over to be tried as an adult. In his ten-page ruling, he stated, “The evidence presented would indicate to a reasonable person that it was a cold, calculated and planned act of violence with intent to kill.” He said, “There is no stability of structure in the home.” He found that the allegations against Phelps disqualified him from most if not all juvenile homes as they are not as secure, as an adult prison.

Phelps is expected to face six felony charges including attempted murder and aggravated battery as an adult. “Michael Phelps was headed for tragedy, either of his own making or inflicted upon someone else,” Burnham said.

But defense attorney Steven Litz told reporters, “I think what the judge did today was easy. It’s always easier to show contempt than it is to show concern. It’s always easier to do what is politically expedient than compassionately just.”

Litz cannot appeal this decision until the conclusion of Michael Phelps’ trial. In his parting statement, Litz said, “Michael has been thrust into an adult criminal system. He’s already been failed by adults before.”

Litz is right; the adults that should have nurtured and cared for Michael obviously were not there for him. Clearly Michael did not have a mother who influenced him in a positive way or was even around much. The absence of any mention of his father speaks for itself. Anyone with a heart has got to be moved by the tragedies and missed opportunities this boy has experienced over the past 15 years. It even helps us understand the anger and drug problems Michael faced. But it is impossible to stretch the sadness you feel for this boy’s home life to excuse attempted murder, which this clearly was.

Am I alone in wishing the mother and father could be on trial as well? This boy is the way he is due to another pair of irresponsible adults who felt their needs outweighed the needs of the boy they brought into the world. It’s no wonder that the mother left the courtroom as soon as the verdict was read.

Karen Quickery, it’s never too late to be a mother. Your son faces adult prison. Clean yourself up, and be there to help him through what lies ahead. You owe him at least that!

Teacher-World's Blog Chance Jackson, Martinsville West Middle School, Michael Phelps, Morgan Superior Court Judge Christopher Burnham, school shooting

As a result of the research I do for my blogs, I have the opportunity to read a variety of interesting, disturbing, and touching stories. I share the ones that speak to me and that I think will speak to you as well. With that in mind, I am anxious to share this unusual story with you from Yakima, Washington.

It is an unbelievable story about a young girl who wanted to find out what life is like for a pregnant high school student; an experiment to find out what kind of stereotypes and rumors such a young lady faces.

Gaby Rodriguez, a 17-year old senior and an A-student at Toppenish High School, convinced her mother, her boyfriend of three years, and her principal and the school district’s superintendent to join her in this incredible social experiment; pretending that she was pregnant in order to find out first-hand how she would be treated by her family, fellow students, and teachers.

Her idea was conceived her sophomore year in her AP biology class, which was taught by Shawn Myers. And she was further spurred by the research she completed which stated that Black and Hispanic teens have higher pregnancy rates than white teens. This really hit home for her since about 85% of the teens at Toppenish High School are Hispanic.

Her experiment was met with much trepidation by those to whom she confided. Her mother, Juana Rodriguez said she thought it was crazy, and worried about lying to family members about the fake pregnancy. Yet, even though she admits it didn’t feel good, she supported her daughter, who received some necessary mentoring from Yakima Valley Memorial Hospital’s Childbirth Education Program to help her carry off her “pregnancy.”

And how did her 20-year old boyfriend, Jorge Orozco, feel about it? “I thought she was nuts,” Jorge said, “I thought I was going to end up getting into problems with her brothers. I didn’t really want to get into problems with anybody.” In spite of his concerns, he went along with Gaby’s plans because, he said, “I was doing it for her.”

Gaby approached Principal Trevor Greene about her project last spring worried that he would not let her proceed. He admits that he was impressed with her determination but also very shocked. “I heard her out,” he says. “I listened to her presentation, her proposal. And then I went through all the difficulties I foresaw to making this happen.”

Greene shared his concerns that people might talk about her behind her back, her older brothers might want to beat up her boyfriend, there might even by broken relationships when family members, other students, and teachers in the school found out the truth. “None of that deterred her,” Greene says.

He told her that before she could proceed, she would need to get the okay from the superintendent, which she did. And the experiment was launched.

In this, her senior year, Gaby convinced people in both her family and in her school that she had gotten pregnant at homecoming, and for six and a half months, she carried on the charade, even replacing the loose, baggy sweaters and sweatshirts for a fake baby bump when she returned from spring break.

Gaby confessed, “At times, I just wanted to take it off and be done. I didn’t want to go through this anymore.”

On Monday of last week, Gaby confessed to Shawn Myers and two women teachers at her school that she was not pregnant and asked for their help at her presentation to the school on Wednesday. Their reactions were mixed: the women were relieved, but Myers said, “She kept talking, and it did not register. Then I just kind of leaned forward and said, `Are you serious?’ I told her, `You’ve run a great value experiment. You couldn’t tell anybody because you had to control the variables.’”

But, Myers also admitted afterwards, “When you’re running a social experiment, you’re dealing with human emotions. The human person in me felt I had been lied to.”

His human reaction is understandable. He admitted that when Gaby told him she was pregnant, he wasn’t disappointed, “just concerned” He says he wondered: “How are we going to take all of the potential that’s in this girl and make sure it manifests itself and not let this define who she is and let it be a roadblock to what she wants to accomplish?”

The experiment culminated in an all-school assembly this past Wednesday. Superintendent John Cerna rushed back from the west side of the state, leaving at 5:30 A.M. in order to be at the school for her 10:15 appearance. “I wouldn’t miss this,” Cerna said.  ”It’s amazing that a young lady would take this challenge on. It was a well-kept secret.”

The topic of Gaby’s presentation was “Stereotypes, Rumors, and Statistics. “ Gaby admits she was very worried about how the audience would react when they heard the truth, but before she revealed the secret she had been carrying for the last six and a half months, she told the audience, “Many things were said about me. Many things traveled all the way back to me.” She then had several students and teachers in the audience read actual statements people had made about her through the course of the experiment.

Saida Cortes, Gaby’s best friend, read this statement from one of the cards: “Her attitude is changing, and it might be because of the baby or she was always this annoying and I never realized it.” Other comments focused on how irresponsible she was, that she wouldn’t continue her education at college, “it was bound to happen anyway”, “I knew she was going to get pregnant”, and “doesn’t she know she just ruined her life?”

After the cards were read, Gaby admitted that some students had left her feeling alone and ashamed because of her pregnancy. Then, in a highly emotional moment, she removed her fake baby bump announcing, “I’m fighting against those stereotypes and rumors because the reality is I’m not pregnant.”

I can only imagine the astonishment the students and teachers must have felt after this announcement. Gaby apologized for misleading them over the last six and a half months, and after her speech, and a time for questions and answers, the audience did something Principal Greene said had never happened in the three years he has been at Toppenish High School; they gave Gaby a standing ovation!

Principal Greene summarized this social experiment in this way: “In essence, she gave up her senior year. She sacrificed her senior year to find out what it would be like to be a potential teen mom. I admire her courage. I admire her preparation. I give her mother a lot of credit for backing her up on this.”

But, the principal continued, “I have a daughter that will be here next year, and I would not let her do it.”

Gaby said, “Teenagers tend to live in the shadows of these elements.” And they do. A teenager’s world is highly attuned to rumors and stereotypes; it is what powers most teenagers to do what they do, wear what they wear, like who they like, and say what they say. The shadow of rumors and stereotypes can make or break young people who are so socially conscious.

I commend Gaby for her willingness to sacrifice the majority of her senior year to point out to her peers that they must see beyond the rumors and stereotypes to the real person buried underneath.

Gaby’s next step is to present her research to a board of community members in May, including photos and videos from Wednesday’s assembly. And she will also need to finish her report on this social experiment. And Gaby is looking forward to attending her prom with her boyfriend minus a baby bump.

Gaby also plans to attend Columbia Basin College, where she plans to study social work or sociology. She also is clear about one important thing: “I’m not planning to have a child until after I graduate.”

Good for her! And good for her that she may have opened some judgmental eyes through her experiment! This is a girl who took a huge risk and made difficult sacrifices in order to teach people tolerance. Let’s hope the lesson took!

Teacher-World's Blog Gaby Rodriguez, rumors, stereotypes, teen pregnancy, Toppenish High School, Washington, Yakima

Please allow me to take a step back in time and remind you of another sad story of a teen suicide. I do so to set up some future blogs regarding some positive things that have come out of this and other tragedies like it and to tell you how some very influential people are taking a firm stand to support bullied victims everywhere.

The date was September 9; the last day Billy Lucas would spend with his family and friends. Billy was a freshman at Greensburg High School in Greensburg, Indiana. He lived with his parents on a farm where he loved taking care of his horses and his club lambs. He won ribbons showing his horses at various events.

 But his fellow students thought he was gay, so all the things he was paled in comparison to what his peers suspected he was. In their intolerance, the only thing they saw when they looked at Billy was what they assumed he was, and the bullying began.

It started on the very first day of high school. He had chairs pulled out from underneath him, he was told to go hang himself, he was called gay and faggot, he was told that he was a piece of crap, and he was told to go kill himself. Apparently, as the school year went on, the bullying intensified.

On September 9th, Billy was suspended from school. The reason? It’s actually so perversely ironic that it breaks my heart. He was being harassed in class by some girls, and he fought back. He stood up and started cussing at his bullies, and he was suspended. Was this the moment Billy decided to commit suicide; this moment when he finally stood up for himself and was told he couldn’t? This moment when he compared all of the terrible things that had been said and done to him that were allowed to continue over the long first month of school to the one time he tried to speak up for himself? Was this the fateful moment when his life seemed pointless and all he could see were years of harassment and taunting with no opurtunity to defend himself? 

On that fateful evening, Billy’s mom said that he was acting very strangely. He even called 911 and told the dispatcher that he was causing problems for his mom and people should come. His mother spoke to the dispatcher and told him there was no problem and not to send anyone. In hindsight, I’m sure she wonders now if that phone call was made so that the police would find him rather than his mother or if it was a last cry for help.

Whatever his reason for calling 911 had been, his mother last saw him at 8 P.M. when he went out to the barn to be with his animals. She found him an hour later hanging from the rafters with the lead from one of his horses wrapped around his neck.

We will never know what made him make the terrible decision to kill himself. He left a suicide note which made no mention of bullying. But it is difficult to imagine, especially in lieu of what had happened that day, that the bullying was not a factor in his suicide.

Billy’s mother admitted that she knew he was bullied and that she had talked to the school. However, as expected, the school told authorities that they were unaware of an issue. But they added that they had plans “in the works” to develop a committee to combat bullying. Too bad that committee wasn’t in place when Billy was facing the daily harassment. Maybe he might still be with us today.

Billy’s friend, James Kriete, was the only friend who was allowed to see Billy at the funeral home with the family. Afterwards he said, “I’ve been bullied myself and that could have been me.”

Billy’s sister, Abby, said, “The community let us down.” She’s right; the school and the community let Billy down.

Friends knew he was being bullied, but there is no report of them standing up for him when the bullying was going on or reporting it to trusted adults at the school who might have intervened. Friends let him down.

Teachers let him down. Teachers hear, through students directly or in overheard conversations, things that are happening in their school. They have knowledge or suspicions of kids who might be having a rough time. Students who are perceived as gay are sitting ducks for teasing, and teachers know this. So a watchful eye and an occasional inquiry in private might open communication with a student letting them know they have someone to talk to who will stand up for them. Teachers need to remind themselves that they are not just there to teach; they are there to mentor and support these students who they are responsible for while they are entrusted to their care. Teachers let him down.

And the school administrators let them down. Why wasn’t a committee already in place to combat bullying in that school? Bullying is rampant in high schools everywhere. To wait until it is too late to set an anti-bullying policy in motion, is irresponsible. And according to Billy’s mother, concerns had been expressed to them concerning problems Billy was experiencing. To turn a blind eye to reported bullying is criminal. So, if the principal knew that bullying was going on, and there was no strong anti-bullying policy already in place in this district, the administrators let this family down, too.

Typically, our schools, like our society in general, do not tend to take bullying very seriously. There continues to be that mentality that says that bullying has always been around, we survived it, kids just need to toughen up, and they will survive it, too.

But modern bullying cannot be equated to the bullying we faced growing up. The Internet and cell phones have changed all that. There is no safe place anymore for a child who is being bullied. And the public attacks on Facebook and other social networks are devastating to young people who are trying to find their way in society and figure out how they fit in. 

So, what is the answer? Short of ending bullying, how do we keep children from choosing suicide over the misery of being bullied? How do we get them to hang in there? Well, my next blogs are going to introduce you to some people who are trying to do just that…

Bullying, Teacher-World's Blog Billy Lucas, Bullying, Greensburg High School, Indiana, teen suicide

In our nation, students take tests regularly to prove what they know or don’t know (if you believe that these tests actually are a true gauge of knowledge), seniors must take a test to graduate, college-bound students take SAT and ACT’s, anyone who wants to drive must take a written test and a driving test to get a license, and in many professions, you must take a test to prove you are equipped to perform that job before you can even apply for that job. But what about the most important job you will ever do in your whole life; where is the test for men and women to take that proves you are competent and prepared to be a parent?

Is it just me, or are we inundated with stories of parents who have no business being parents? I blogged recently about the 6-year old who took a loaded gun to school, now here’s an equally unbelievable story from Pensacola, Florida, of a third-grader who took her mom’s marijuana to school.

It happened last Tuesday, late in the afternoon at Lincoln Elementary School. Just before the final bell sounded, a little girl took a bag of marijuana out of her jacket pocket, showed it to the class, and announced, “This is some of my mom’s weed. It’s what my mother puts in blunts.”

Can you imagine the shock that teacher must have felt? What third-grader should even know what a blunt is, let alone have access to drugs? Irresponsibly criminal!

A phone call was made to the sheriff’s office where an investigation into how an 8-year old girl could have easy access to marijuana began. Upon arriving at the address listed at the school for this young girl, police discovered it was the home of the girl’s grandmother, who had no idea where her daughter was currently living. So that leaves you wondering if it’s the mother’s marijuana or the grandmother’s. Who’s taught this girl about blunts?

The sheriff’s office said no charges were being filed against the little girl, and no information regarding the girl’s family is being released at this time.

Deputy Chris Welborn, the spokesman for the Escambia County Sheriff’s Office said, “They’re raised in that environment. Apparently, the mother doesn’t feel that it’s wrong to use drugs in front of her child or leave the drugs lying around where the child can get a hold of them.”

When asked about this unusual situation, school superintendent Malcolm Thomas said, “Drugs are destroying the fabric of our society. They’re everywhere. They’re in every strata of income, and the devastation is pretty tough.” He further stated that their school system is being very aggressive when it comes to drugs coming into their schools. “We’ve put K-9 dogs in our schools. We sweep our schools every day. It’s a random selection of schools. We’ve conducted over 300 drug sweeps this year. We’ve only found hits 21 times,” Thomas said.

But their approach is not just reactive; it is also proactive as they try to educate students on the dangers of taking drugs. On Thursday, Thomas paid a visit to Pine Forest High School where he recognized the winner of an essay contest who wrote about the assigned topic: how to raise drug awareness in your school. (Kind of ironic timing in lieu of the awareness that was raised about drugs in this school system by the little girl from Lincoln Park Elementary, huh?)

Thomas was quick to stress that drug awareness can’t just be a school matter; incidents like the one that occurred at Lincoln Park Elementary need to be prevented at home. “Parents have to step up. They have to take responsibility and they need to be aware. Not only of the substances they may be using in their home, but also the language they’re using around their children because we’re teaching them. We’re teaching them in the home and we’re teaching them in the school. And I’m afraid, in some of the homes, we’re teaching the wrong thing,” Thomas said.

Amen! Parents, if you are going to have children, take on the difficult job of being a real parent, and that involves sacrificing your wants and needs for the wants and needs of your child. It involves teaching them right from wrong and showing them, through your own life, the difference between the two.

It’s not easy signing on for parenthood, but it is the only job that brings the rewards that touch your heart and fill your life with a sense of accomplishment and love that will last forever.

Teacher-World's Blog Add new tag, Florida, Lincoln Elementary School, marijuana, Pensacola

Seven months after Tyler Clementi allegedly committed suicide after his roommate, Dharun Ravi, and fellow student, Molly Wei, taped and posted on the Internet his sexual encounter with another student, there is finally some news regarding Ravi’s possible fate.

Dharun Ravi, a 19-year old former Rutgers University freshman, was indicted this past Wednesday in Middlesex County on 15 counts, which include bias intimidation and invasion of privacy in regard to the events which preceded Tyler Clementi’s suicide on September 22 of last year. Ravi and Wei had already faced invasion of privacy charges but it took months for prosecutors to present their case to a grand jury. Their case alleges that Ravi targeted his roommate due to his sexual orientation and posted the encounter online on September 19 in order to intimidate him.

A statement from county prosecutors read, “Under state law, bias is charged a degree higher than the underlying crime, in this case, invasion of privacy. The defendant has also been charged with two counts of second-degree bias and two counts of third-degree bias. A second-degree offense carries a prison exposure of five to 10 years.”

Ravi was additionally charged with three counts of tampering with evidence, three counts of hindering his own apprehension, and a single count of witness tampering. Prosecutor Bruce Kaplan said that the grand jurors determined that Ravi attempted to mislead investigators and witnesses in a variety of ways. They determined that Ravi deleted a post on Twitter alerting students to watch Clementi’s encounter with another man online.

“The grand jury indictment spells out cold and calculated acts against our son Tyler by his former college roommate. We are eager to have the process move forward for justice in this case and to reinforce the standards of acceptable conduct in our society,” said Joseph and Jane Clementi, in a statement issued by their attorney.

In the United States, grand juries meet privately and issue indictments if probable cause exists, but criminal trial juries must then find guilt beyond a reasonable doubt in order to convict.

Meanwhile, Molly Wei’s case has not been presented to the grand jury at this time. It was uncertain on Wednesday, whether her case would go before the grand jury or whether she had helped prosecutors in an effort to lessen her sentence.

Bullying, Teacher-World's Blog Bullying, Dharun Ravi, grand jury indictments, Molly Wei, Rutgers University, teen suicide, Tyler Clementi

Here’s another strange story that has me wondering what is going on in our homes that another young child would be caught bringing a gun to school.

This time, the setting was Ross Elementary School located in northeast Houston, a part of the Houston Independent School District. This is one of the state’s largest school districts, servicing about 200,000 students, about 500 of which attend Ross Elementary.

Things got a little crazy today at lunchtime, when a kindergartener who had brought a loaded, yes, I said loaded, gun to school, was injured along with two other students, when the gun fell out of his pocket as he sat down to eat his lunch. The bullet sent either fragments of chips from the floor or pieces of the discharged round spraying at nearby students.

According to Houston Independent School District Assistant Police Chief Robert Mock, some of the children were hit by these fragments. “They had some cuts and stuff on their legs. They don’t appear to be life threatening,” said Mock.

As a matter of fact, a 5-year old girl suffered an injury to her foot, while the boy who brought the gun and another 6-year old boy were both wounded in the foot. Children were treated for injuries ranging from powder burns to scraps on the scene, as panicked parents rushed to the school to make sure their children were okay. The three injured students were then taken to Texas Children’s Hospital.

When things settled down, parents had the option of taking their children home for the day or leaving them in school where counselors were available to talk to students who were upset. Meanwhile, nearly a dozen Houston police and patrol cars were parked outside the school as they tried to determine where this little boy had gotten the gun that had disrupted a school.

Norm Uhl, a spokesman for the district said, “The danger has passed and counselors are at the scene.” But he added, “Although the danger is over, that doesn’t make it any less frightening.”

The scariest part of this story is the unanswered question as to how this boy could have had such easy access to a gun, let alone a loaded gun! The natural assumption is that this gun was in his home. So the logical question is: What kind of parent would leave a loaded weapon where their child could be tempted to pick it up and take it to school?

This incident will not be forgotten by these little children for a long time. Their sense of safety has been violated. And injuries occurred. It was terrible, but it could have been so much worse. Kids get killed by guns all the time. And young children are drawn to guns like magnets. Parents who choose to have guns need to follow every precaution to guarantee that their children do not have access to these weapons.

When the dust settles, and the police discover how the inconceivable occurred, I certainly hope that the irresponsible adult who is to blame is severely dealt with. If I was a parent of a child at Ross Elementary, I would demand no less!

Teacher-World's Blog Houston, kindergartners, Ross Elementary School, school shooting, Texas

I saw this lovely, heart-warming story that I had to share with people. It’s an amazing story about Agnes Zhelesnik, a 97-year old preschool teacher at the Sundance School in North Plainfield, New Jersey.

Unlike most people of her age, Mrs. Zhelesnik, who is lovingly called Granny at the private school where she teaches, spends her days running around after 4-year olds, teaching them cooking, sewing, costume-making and prop-building.

“I’m busy ever minute,” Mrs. Zhelesnik told The Star Ledger.

How did a 97-year old end up being a preschool teacher? After her husband, Joe, died in 1992, she needed to go back to work to make ends meet. She started out part-time at Sundance in 1995, but the job became full-time, where she works Monday through Friday, from 8:00 to 4:00. Some days, she even has after school classes. “I love it here and I have to earn a little bit of money at my age since I’m alive and have to eat and I also have to pay bills. I do my share because I’m able to.”

How does she do it? Well, she wears a hearing aid, but that appears to be her only difficulty. She has no arthritis, never smoked because her mother didn’t like it, and never drank because her father didn’t like it. Although, she admits to an occasional glass of wine now, admits she likes butter because “the brain needs fat”, and prefers whole milk to skim milk.

She has an excellent health record, doesn’t take any medications, and was only hospitalized when she gave birth to her three children. She says the last time she was sick was probably back around 1920 when everyone in the family was battling measles, and she figures she had it, too. Although, she said that she took care of everyone else.

Mrs. Zhelesnik came into this world when Buffalo Bill was still alive, Charlie Chaplin’s first film hadn’t been released yet, and Joe DiMaggio wasn’t even born. Born in 1914, she has lived through both World Wars and has watched 17 presidents serve their country. She has had her share of sorrow, losing a child in an accident as well as her husband.

“There’s never a day that Granny complains about anything,” Ginny Tobey, founder and co-owner of the Sundance School, told The Ledger. “She’s always two steps ahead of everyone.”

“There’s no generation gap with Granny,” added teacher Bess Zampella. “The first thing that comes to mind is the word, wise.”

And what about the children she teaches? “She’s like a grandma for everyone in the school,” said nine-year-old Ashley Alvarenga. “Everyone loves her.”

Mrs. Zhelesnik lives with her daughter, who is also a teacher, and her son-in-law. Her daughter said, “My mother has always been a teacher, as most mothers are. She treasures every moment of her life. She has a very good sense of humor.”

What an amazingly dear woman! And what does she say about the job she does at Sundance School? “It’s the attitude that you have. Taking care of children is worth it. It’s a lot of fun; if you’re healthy, it’s such a pleasure to work.”

Words I plan to remember the next time I would rather stay in bed than get up and go to work. Thank you for the inspiration, Granny!

Teacher-World's Blog Agnes Zhelesnik, New Jersey, North Plainfield, oldest teacher, Sundance School, The Star Ledger