Teacher World

Here is my latest pet peeve. I have a student who was absent for over a week, supposedly too sick to come to school. Yet this same student was spotted, during that same week, at a Cub Scout meeting. Apparently he was feeling fine that night yet was too sick to come to school either that morning or the following day. Am I the only one who has a problem with this?

In my house, my kids knew that I had a steadfast rule: if they were too sick to go to school, they would not be going anywhere after school. Period! No wiggle room! This simple rule tended to solve two basic problems. First, it helped us clarify pretty quickly just how sick we were. Often, my sick children suddenly realized that they weren’t as sick as they thought they were when reminded that they would be staying home all day and all evening. I will admit that there were times that I was as disappointed as my child that we would miss out on an activity which we had both been looking forward to. But the rule truly helped cut back on some of the times when they might have stayed home unnecessarily.

The other advantage to this rule was that it kept truly sick kids home in the evening so that they did not infect other people. I am always amazed that parents will allow their children to be around healthy people when they are clearly sick because they don’t have the courage to make a stand that is best for their child and everyone else.

Parents, we need to be parents in the tough times as well as the fun times. It is so much easier to just give in to our kids because we don’t want to upset them. But we send the wrong message when we do so. The parent of my student, who went to a Cub Scout meeting but could not come to school, either taught their child that an after-school activity is more important than an education or that it is okay to expose other people to their sick child’s germs. If their child was not too sick to attend school, they have also conveyed a not-so-subtle message that it is okay to lie about being sick and use it as an excuse to stay home. You don’t have to be a fortune teller to predict that this will bite them in the butt someday.

So, parents, protect your butts and teach your children an important lesson at the same time! Keep them home after school if you are going to keep them home during school. Period!

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On Monday mornings in my classroom we spend the first few minutes reconnecting after the weekend by sharing something exciting we did over the weekend. One memorable morning this past spring, we were making our merry way around the room sharing our happy tales until I reached one young man, I will call Tim, who had been absent on Friday. Thoroughly expecting to be told that Tim spent most of the weekend in bed, I inquired, “So, Ted, I know you were sick so I assume you didn’t do much this weekend, right?”

To my utmost surprise, Tim boldly proclaimed, “I wasn’t sick on Friday.” Okay, so now I expected to hear that perhaps he had a doctor’s appointment or a family obligation, so I asked him if either of these two possibilities was true. He very patiently replied, “No.”

Now I was stumped. So I pursued the matter a little deeper by asking why he had stayed home then on Friday. Now get ready…His exact words were, “I had to stay home and help my mother set up the pool.” This happens to be a student who has struggled academically all year and whose mother I had been in regular contact with for support, so it took awhile for this proclamation to sink in fully, not just for me, but for the rest of the class as well. When I trusted myself to speak, I asked if he had begged to stay home to help. Tim retold the story that his mother came to his bedroom door in the morning and asked him if he would like to stay home and help her with the pool. Again, I had to take some time removing the shocked look from my face as I asked if this pool work could not have waited until he got home from school or over the weekend. He just smiled and shrugged. At this point I questioned whether setting up the home pool qualified as an excused absence. The only thing that saved me from a complete melt down was the fact that I was not the only one in that room that was amazed at the craziness of this situation.

I tell this story because it is indicative of a serious problem we face in education today. So many activities are becoming more important to parents and their children than school: sports, movies, computer games, vacations, concerts, and now I have to add pools to this list. For those of us in the business of educating and trying to get students to pass state tests, it is frustrating to say the least. I’m sorry, but when parents believe that setting up a pool is more important than getting their children to school, our schools and our students take a real dive.

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How many of you have ever had a student return after an absence and ask this most annoying of questions: “Did I miss anything yesterday?”

The evil side of me wants to reply in the most sarcastic tone I can muster, “No, we put education and all educational pursuits on hold while you were gone. School just isn’t school without you, and we spent the seven hours you were home mourning your absence. Lucky you! You have no work to make up as we accomplished nothing all day!” Of course, I refrain from such unconstructive comments and direct them instead to copy another student’s assignment book and give them the work they missed. I remind myself that kids believe that the world revolves around them, thus it is only natural for them to think that nothing could possibly transpire without their glowing presence.

Just as I am licking my wounds and practicing my counting to ten and breathing deeply routine, they hand me a letter from their parent. Assuming that it is the explanation for their recent absence, I curiously open the missive only to release a pained sigh. Because clutched in my unbelieving hand is the same inquiry that was so boldly asked just moments ago by their unsuspecting progeny. Can this parent really believe that in a seven hour time period nothing of consequence occurred? If the roles were reversed and I sent a letter to their place of employment asking them if they accomplished anything at all the day before, would they not be insulted? Now, the counting to ten and breathing deeply routine is simply not enough. I move to phase two in my calm-down routine. Making a quick excuse, I move to the hallway where I can sputter and spew to my heart’s content. Then I count to ten, breathe deeply, and return to my desk and the letter that requires a carefully constructed and very diplomatic answer. I forgive the cause of the sputtering and spewing as I need to get on with the work at hand because, in spite of rumors to the contrary, I actually have educational plans for the day.

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Okay, forget about teacher’s pets. Let’s talk about the real issue; pet peeves. Has something like this ever happened in your classroom?

Bear with me as I set the scene for you. I’m teaching an economics unit, and today’s subject is competition. To hook my students, I decide to use Mario (whose name has been changed to protect the innocent) because he works at his family’s pizzeria most weekends (a subject we have discussed often as we feel strongly that we should be given the opportunity to sample their product). I inform the class that I have decided to open my own pizzeria just four blocks away from Mario’s. The question is posed: How do I draw customers from Mario’s restaurant to mine? I watch as the wheels start slowly turning and a student calls out, “Offer deserts, too.”

The class shows unanimous support of this idea, and I turn to Mario. “What are you going to do, Mario? Your customers are coming to me because I offer a wide variety of scrumptious deserts to compete for your business?” He ponders this briefly and says, “We’ll add a salad bar!”
The class can tell he’s very proud of himself, and now I see the light bulbs go on as they realize that this is going to be fun. The volley of ideas proceeds like a tennis match, back and forth. After several rounds, my ego is building. I am every teacher’s dream; a shoe-in for best teacher of the year.

The blood is pumping now as I inquire again what I should do next. A normally shy student calls out, “Offer sandwiches and appetizers.”

Without a second’s hesitation, Mario says boldly, “Patio and pasta!”

“Wow!” I think to myself. “This was an awesome idea. They are engaged. They really get it. This is what teaching is all about!” On a wave of euphoria, I turn to the class to hear what innovative ideas they have for me next. Susie (whose name has been changed to protect the guilty) is wildly waving her hand. I am amazed, as she is normally almost comatose in class, and with bated breath, I say. “Susie, what should we do to top that?”
As the whole class turns in shocked anticipation, Susie loudly asks, “Can I go to the restroom?”
Bam! Forget competition in the marketplace. Now, all my students can think about is competition in the peeing place. All eyes watch her leave wishing it was them, and so begins a steady stream of…well…pee-ers. And as I remind myself that we really were on a roll for awhile, I think to myself, “I think I have to pee, too!”

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